Bringing heaven to earth

For most of my life, I couldn't quite understand why this woman would appear in my mind. When I sit at the church piano and play a worship song perfectly, I think of her—comparing myself to her, feeling somehow superior in that moment. But then, almost immediately, I falter, unable to play the same notes correctly again. Why has she always been in my thoughts, especially when I achieve something? Why do I find myself valuing my accomplishments more when I think of her? And why does the crash always follow?

Even this morning, after waking from a dream where she dominated my thoughts, I still couldn't figure out who she was to me. What role does she play in my mind, and what emotion does she represent?

Since 2005, when my parents entered prophetic ministry, I've become more aware of the role dreams play in my life. In my dreams and visions, I began to recognize that people often represent different attributes—of God, of myself, or even of the enemy.

When I dream about my sister, I know I’m dealing with someone who feels like a sister to me—someone I connected with recently or will connect with that day. If I dream of a witch stirring a green concoction, I know I'm facing someone manipulative, controlling their failing finances. One man in my dream often symbolizes a thought of independence. I once had a vision of two women standing in my bedroom— and soon after were confronted with division and conflict.

When my oldest brother appears, it's a reminder of Christ’s brotherly presence, confirming His love and care for what I asked Him. My husband often represents Christ in my dreams, as my heavenly One—this is how I’ve come to recognize His voice, as my girl friend calls it, like receiving a WhatsApp message from heaven.

But this woman... who is she? What does she represent?

As I straighten my hair, I catch myself thinking, "I have such lovely hair." Then I imagine her in my thoughts, comparing our hair—and, of course, I think I win. But the moment I look into the mirror and see my wrinkles, the high fades, and I’m left feeling ashamed. This pattern—the pride, the comparison, the crash—has been so familiar. I experience fleeting highs when I draw my strength from her, or from myself or others, but those are always followed by lows that leave me stuck in shame.

Finally, my loving First Love put a spotlight on this struggle. He showed me the truth through His Word, bringing heavenly verses to earthly reality:

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." (Prov. 11:2)

"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws strength from mere flesh, and whose heart turns away from the Lord." (Jer. 17:5)

When I trust in myself, or in anyone else, and draw strength from them, I am cursed. Shame and disgrace follow, and it takes me a long time to find peace again. I get lost in comparisons, judgments, and self-condemnation. But through humility, wisdom is found.

I’ve also realized the role this woman plays in my thought life. She is a pillar of pride—an image of someone who knows it all, has done it all, and is the boss of all. Now, when I see her in my dreams, I understand that I’m confronting pride itself, and I command this spirit to leave me in the mighty Name of our King Jesus.

How marvelous is our loving, kind, and long-suffering God—Creator of the universe and Inspirer of those who love Him to write a library of books we call the Bible. He shows us how to bring heaven to earth, how to hear His voice, and how to be comfortable in our own skin.

My husband and I on a field trip to the Brandberg, Namibia we were blessed with rain and two rainbows. 

Only in the arm of the the One who loves you First, will life be a love song.